Another Six Months Gone...

Halloween has come and gone and it has been just over six months since my last post.  Much has changed, thankfully for the better.  The job is what I've been hoping for, the relationship is what I've been dreaming of, and life, although it did not go according to plan, is going better than expected.  I'm beyond grateful for it.

The next part of my journey is creating a bit of a routine again.  Over the past six months, I've become a bit complacent.  Falling out of a healthy eating and workout routine, into a lazed, food indulgent, with lack of a better term, blob.  I've ballooned up to 256.2 pounds.  My heaviest.  

Luckily, headspace wise, I'm better than expected.  Before I hated the way I looked, mirrors were my sworn enemies, and how I spoke to myself was disgusting.  I don't tolerate bullying, fat-shaming, none of that bullshit.  Yet, I tolerated it to myself from myself.  

However, all of that being said, I'm not starting no new diet, I've already been signed up with a gym.  The goal here is to be more conscious of what I put into my mouth and body.  Be more aware of portion sizes, of balancing meals, of moving my body.

The reason most "diets" don't work is that they are truly unrealistic.  With counting, measuring, cutting out certain foods, that's not how I want to live.  I want to ENJOY the foods I love, not become numb to them.  That's the whole point of being conscious when I eat, to fully savor and enjoy eating and focusing on when my body says it is full, listening to my body.

This is also known as Intuitive Eating.  A great book that I've been enthralled with is called "Intuitive Eating: A Revolutionary Program That Works," by Evelyn Tribole and Elyse Resch.

Now that I sound almost like a damn infomercial, I better end this here.